
How To Prepare Your Birth Children For Fostering in the UK
Making the decision to become a foster carer in the UK is one that requires careful consideration, especially if you have your own birth children. Here at Family Fostering Partners, we understand that the decision to foster in the UK effects the entire family, including your birth children. Preparing them for this transition is crucial for a successful fostering experience. In this blog post, we’ll explore practical steps to help your birth children understand the idea of fostering in the UK, ensuring a smooth and positive process for everyone involved.
Understanding the Impact on Birth Children
Before diving into the preparation steps, it’s essential to acknowledge the significant impact fostering in the UK can have on your birth children. They will share their home, parents, and daily lives with a new child, which can bring about various emotions and adjustments. Consequently, open communication and preparation are key to helping them navigate these changes. In most cases, fostering has a positive impact on birth children – click here to hear from CJ, who tells us about the impact of fostering on his birth child.

Step 1: Open Communication about fostering in the UK.
Introducing the idea of fostering to your birth children well before you begin the process allows them ample time to adjust, ask questions and process the decision. Use age-appropriate language to explain what fostering means, you can use this opportunity to impart important lessons, such as sharing and our duty to help other people in need.
Children are naturally curious and may have many questions about fostering. Encourage them to express their thoughts and concerns. Addressing their questions honestly and clearly will help alleviate any fears or misconceptions they may have about fostering in the UK.
Talk about the range of emotions your birth children might experience. Acknowledge that it’s normal to feel excited, nervous, or even jealous. Let them know that their feelings are valid and that they can always talk to you or their dedicated Link Worker about how they’re feeling.
Step 2: Involve Them in the Process
Involve your birth children in family meetings where fostering is discussed. This inclusion helps them feel like active participants in the decision-making process and reinforces that their opinions matter. Your children will have the opportunity to speak to an assessing social worker about their thoughts, feelings and questions about fostering, and as you become approved to foster in the UK, they will have access to a dedicated link worker that will support your family.
Involve your birth children in practical preparations, such as setting up the foster bedroom and letting them help choose decorations or toys. This involvement can create a sense of ownership and excitement about welcoming a new child into your home.
At Family Fostering Partners, we are passionate about careful matching. We want our children to thrive and be happy in their fostering home. By matching children to families who have similar interests, personalities, we can hope to nurture successful placements. Crucially, we want to ensure that there is a natural “sibling age gap” between a birth child and a child who’s looked after, therefore, we would look to match you with a child who is at least one year older or younger than your birth children.
Step 3: Establish Clear Boundaries and Expectations
Clearly outline the roles and responsibilities of each family member. Explain how daily routines might change and what will be expected of your birth children in terms of sharing, helping, and being patient.
Discuss the importance of personal boundaries and respect. Ensure your birth children understand that they still have their own private spaces and time with you. Reinforce that fostering won’t diminish your love or attention for them.
Draft a family agreement outlining the expectations and rules everyone will follow once the child who is looked after, arrives. This agreement can include guidelines on sharing or general house rules. Having a written agreement can provide a sense of structure and security for your birth children.
Step 4: Provide Ongoing Support
Once you’re matched with a child, and they arrive at your home, be sure to schedule regular check-ins with your birth children. Use these check-ins to discuss how they’re doing, address any concerns, and celebrate positive experiences. Consistent communication reinforces their importance and reassures them that their feelings matter. This will help them to feel included in your UK fostering journey.
Encourage your birth children to connect with other children from fostering families. Peer support can be invaluable as they share experiences and learn from others who understand what they’re going through. At Family Fostering Partners, your family will be invited to events and days out with other families in your local area, which will be an opportunity for your birth children and children who are fostered in the UK to get together and make friendships.
If your birth children are struggling to adjust, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Family therapists or counsellors specialising in fostering can provide additional tools and strategies to help your family navigate this transition. You can speak to your designated link worker at Family Fostering Partners or use Foster Talk for their counselling service. Click here to find out more about the Foster Talk membership, paid for by Family Fostering Partners for each of their fostering families in the UK.
Step 5: Foster a Positive Environment
Fostering in the UK provides an excellent opportunity to teach your birth children about diversity, empathy, and inclusion. Celebrate the differences each child brings to your family and encourage open-mindedness and acceptance. By sharing favourite foods, celebrating important events and getting to know and understand one another’s traditions and cultures, strong bonds can be made.
Fostering is a team effort. Encourage teamwork by involving your birth children and the looked after children in your care in problem-solving and decision-making processes. It could be as simple as deciding what to make for dinner, or where to go on the weekend. This approach fosters a sense of unity and shared purpose, uniting fostering families in the UK.
Highlight the strengths and positive qualities of each family member. Recognise and praise your birth children for their contributions and efforts to help make the child who is fostered to feel happy, safe and secure. Focusing on strengths builds confidence and resilience.
Start Fostering in the UK today
Preparing your birth children for fostering in the UK is a critical step in ensuring a positive experience for everyone involved. Open communication, involving them in the process, establishing clear boundaries, providing ongoing support, and fostering a positive environment are essential strategies. At Family Fostering Partners, we believe that fostering can enrich the lives of all family members, creating a nurturing and supportive environment for children who are fostered and birth children.
By taking these steps, you can help your birth children feel prepared, valued, and excited about the journey ahead. Fostering is a family commitment, and with the right preparation, it can be a fulfilling and life-changing experience for everyone. If you’re considering fostering in the UK, reach out to Family Fostering Partners for more information and support on starting your fostering journey. Together, we can make a difference in the lives of children in need.
For more information on fostering in the UK , get in touch by visiting our “Contact Us” page or by using the live chat feature on our website which will put you through to a member of our team. If you’re ready to get started today, click here to complete our fostering application form.